It’s really funny how simple things can be so difficult to execute. It’s OK, we’re victims of our own minds. As irrational, emotional human beings, we need to employ devices and strategies to help us cope with serious situations.

To preface, I still deal with highly stressful situations, and by no means am I an expert at de-escalation, but this strategy has served me well in the past and will continue to help me through tense times in the future.

So, if you feel stress, under pressure, with deadlines and clients screaming at you, just repeat this to yourself:

It’s never as good or as bad as you think.

I’ve seen this saying on blogs, tweets, LinkedIn, etc. — but I don’t know where it comes from. If someone out there knows, would you tell me?

I like this quote because it’s humbling. It’s not hustle porn or overly reassuring. When we get too caught up in our constructed environments and our hopeless circumstances, it becomes hard to see beyond our own blinders. We think briefly about all the repercussions of our actions or our inaction and we let our minds project worst-case scenarios when in reality we should be thinking rationally about what our next step will be. Our lives are decided by the actions we take at each moment, not by playing out what could happen.

Think about a project with a major deadline that is fast-approaching or has passed, but the deliverable is not complete. Now think to yourself:

• Did you do everything in your power to accomplish the task?

  • If the answer is yes, then ask yourself why you are still upset about the fact that you haven’t accomplished it. Was the ask too larger or too variable? Did something change along the way that affected your trajectory?

• What can you do now to complete the task?

  • Are there people that can help assist you in the next step of the process? Can you delegate portions of your work to others so you can focus on the core of the issue?

• How can I describe the situation to stakeholders?

  • Stakeholders are often upset because they are also beholden to their own requirements — whether internally or externally. Think thoughtfully about their situation and how more information can help assuage their fears.

I learn new tactics and strategies to keep calm through stressful situations each time a new one arises. These situations will happen in our personal lives, relationships, and our work, so practicing these mindfulness strategies can help to center your thinking so you can make more rational decisions in times of intense personal stress.