We've been through 4 full seasons of pandemic and the end is in sight. In the dark times of Covid-19, fast-tracking vaccinations by even 2 months is a major leap.

At the opposite end of this optimistic outlook, my wife and I have been experiencing an unnerving trauma, almost as if we're reliving the early days of the pandemic through brief moments of nostalgia.

In the early pandemic, probably mid-April, we joined our friends for a weekly fitness class on YouTube live hosted by Nike fitness instructors. After a few weeks, it became a fun routine for us to see our friends, stay fit, and take our minds off the pandemic looming just outside our front doors. Although the classes have since ended, we often go back to our favorite workouts.

It wasn't until Tammy replayed the 1-hr workout with Joe Holder this week that we felt a disconcerting rush — almost like a groundhog's day of desperation.

T: "Do you remember when we first took this class?"

Me: "Yeah, can you believe we're still in this pandemic 1 year later."

T: "It feels so recent."

Me: "I don't like it."

The anniversary of the pandemic has been a surprising mental state. It's an anniversary of the last time we did many things without restrictive lockdowns or fear of infecting others. It marks the last time you went out to eat, went to the grocery store without a mask, attended a live concert, or saw your parents/grandparents, and for some the last time you ever saw someone.

Reliving these memories is traumatic and it's OK to award yourself some time to grieve. If you can, take some time off, even if you have no place to go.